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11 Snacks More Dangerous Sounding Than Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

Takis/Rap Snacks

Several schools across the country have banned Flamin’ Hot Cheetos because they are so unhealthy and dangerous to kids. What about these snacks? They seem *at least* as terrifying as something that promises to be hot as fire. It certainly can’t be safe for kids to eat these. Also, we want some.

Lava Balls

lava balls

Not only are these spicy, they’re probably also a great way to get a terrible nickname.

Devil Dogs

devil dog

Oh Cerberus, you tasty, tasty snack cake.

Nitro Takis

Takis Nitro

The snack so bad they had to name it after an American Gladiator

Red Hot Riplets Rap Snacks

Rap Snacks
Red Hot Riplets

These snacks distract from traditional education with their pimp education.

Clamato Chips

clamato chips

Everyone knows Clamato is the devil’s drink.

Death Rain Fire Balls

death rain

3rd degree burn3rd Degree Burn Doritos


We prefer our snacks to destroy every layer of skin, thank you very much.



Because we’re pretty sure “sponch” is the sound a dog makes when it barfs.

Every Kind of Goldfish Cracker Ever

goldfish cracker

Why is this thing smiling? Is it because it’s EVIL???

Tohato Tyrant Habanero Burning Hell Hot


No seriously, though, this is just terrifying.

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