Make Me Laugh:
Bob walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy here.”
The bartender says, “You want both drinks now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?”
Bob says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” With that he pulls out a little 3-inch man from his pocket.
The bartender says, “Wow! And you mean to say he can drink that much?”
“Oh, sure. He can drink it all, and then some.”
So the bartender poured the two shots. Sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
“That’s amazing,” says the bartender. “What else can he do? Can he walk?”
Bob flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, “Hey Al, go get that quarter!” The little guy runs down to the end of the bar, picks up the quarter, and runs back down and gives it to Bob.
The bartender is totally amazed. “That’s amazing,” he says, “what else can he do? Does he talk?”
Bob looks up at the bartender with a look of surprise in his eye and squawks, “Talk? Sure he talks. Hey Al, tell him about that time we were in down in Africa on safari and you insulted that witch doctor!”