Last night the city of Philadelphia showed up and showed out. The celebrations in the streets got litty!, literally and figuratively. Fools and goons really destroyed downtown Philly last night, celebrating the Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl Championship win by creating riots and general debauchery.


I was listening to the mayhem as it happened
via the police scanner on a phone app I had downloaded, and I watched Twitter and Snapchat videos of the scenes of the crimes. I'm doing it, I'm going to say out loud something I used to hear the grown ups say back when I was a youngster: "
Some people don't have the brains god gave a billy goat."

I sat there in shock as I watched live videos of groups of people coming together to knock down light poles and street signs (teamwork makes the dream work I guess)! Other videos showed , carrying home stolen city plants. "I guess I'll go home and plant these so that we win again next year!" said one resident on a Snapchat video.

Here's some other things I saw people doing in Philly last night:

  • Flipping over a car on its side:
  • Breaking windows to a store and then having a food fight:

I even saw a video of a man walking through the streets in his underwear (on a freezing cold night, mind you). But that's not the strangest thing I saw. That honor would have to go to:

  • A man decided to eat literal horse sh*t on a dare.
What are they putting in the water over there in Philadelphia? You know, when I think of celebrating good times, the thought of eating feces doesn't go through my brain. Maybe there is something wrong with me?
  • A group of about 30 people decided to climb on top of a hotel awning.