joke

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past, looks up, and asks the monkey, “Hey! What are you doing?”
The monkey says, “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and …

An old farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.”‘Let’s have a BBQ party, Homer,” she suggested. “Let&Clo…

A guy sees a sign in front of a house that reads: “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

Bob walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy here.”
The bartender says, “You want both drinks now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?”
Bob says, “Oh, I want t…

A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.”
The doctor asks, “Why don’t you have him admitted to a hospital?”
The guy says, “We would, but we need the eggs.”