HUMOR: 10 Tips For Surviving Friday The 13th!
Oh no! It’s back again! The dreaded Friday the 13th! Many have feared the return of this day since the last Friday the 13th (January). Well, don’t fear too much, This whole month of October is spooky, and then we don't have to worry about anymore until September 2024!
If you really flat-out dread this day. Absolutely HATE IT! Call in sick from work, lock the doors, close the blinds, and hide under your blanket till the next day. Then you suffer from Paraskevidekatriaphobia. Or maybe you watched the horror movie too many times and just really hate hockey. If that is the case, that’s sad because the Seattle Kraken hockey team is having a kick-ass season!
Besides becoming a hermit for 24 hours, here are some tips to help survive this or any other Friday the 13th.
We all know the big four tips that the films taught us: No premarital sex, don’t turn around (especially while running), never say “I’ll be back” (unless you’re a T100), and I learned, DON’T GO CAMPING! Well, here are some other tips that I’ve thought up.
10 Tips To Survive Friday The 13th:
10 – If you still get chain emails or social media posts that say, “do this, or else this will happen!” Don’t risk it, do it!
9 – Always wear protection. I’m not talking about the sexy kind; you’re not supposed to do that anyway. I’m talking football pads, helmet, shin guards, armor, etc. The more you’re protected, the better your chances of survival!
8 - Listen to your parents & eat your veggies. They’ll make you big or strong. Very handy in those fight-or-flight situations!
7 – I used to say “Double Tap” to ensure it’s dead (if you decided to fight instead of flight). Now I’m all for running when you get the chance. I now take a new approach: kick in the crotch, stomp on the neck, and run away! (Only do this if you’re in a dangerous situation).
6 – Comfy shoes! I’ve never seen anyone survive an axe murderer wearing flip-flops! That would be a hilarious-sounding chase scene!
5- Wear a cardigan sweater at all times. All and all, stay entirely clothed. Take it from Psycho; even showers aren’t safe.
4 – Keep your car in good working order. I know it’s kind of hard to do that today, but you can plan for October.
3 – Unless you have a big dog, or a Great Dane named Scooby, don’t go investigating.
2 – Keep your chubby friends close so that you can outrun them, and they can occupy the killer. I’m a fat guy, I know I won’t be able to outrun anyone, so I rely on my strength and fighting ability. Luckily, I watch WWE without knowing how to do the moves safely so someone will get hurt.
1 – Be nice to everyone. You never know what different hobbies someone has.
Any tips that you would like to add to the list? Tap the App & let us know!
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