Emerald Catron
Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Hooo boy, it is so close to being summer, we can practically hear the incessant song of the ice cream truck already. Frankly we don't want to wait until Monday to kick off the season. We can't. We've lost all control. Here are some pics of animals in kiddie pools to prove it.
Forget all the awards she won at the Billboard Music Awards last night -- the trophy for Best Reaction to Justin Bieber Trying to Kiss Selena Gomez goes to Taylor Swift! That's the award that matters, as far as we're concerned.
CeCe Bruce had been working at a Steak n' Shake in Indiana for two years when she received the tip of a lifetime. After watching Bruce deal with some rude customers, a regular tipped $446 on her $5.96 check -- that's a 7,000 percent tip.
These funny Photoshop manipulations are one better than "stars without makeup" photos. They aren't just celebrities without makeup -- they're celebrities without stylists, personal chefs or trainers, or expensive clothes. We call it 'Extreme Makeunder: Celebrity Edition.'
These animals know what's up. They know your secret. They know you're in on the joke. They know how to close their eyes one at a time. They know how to be adorable. They know how to wink.
If there's one thing we love about Starbucks, it's that they always give us a place to go to the bathroom. Aside from that, it's also always a good time when they mix up a customer's name. When a Hong Kong Starbucks employee thought a woman named Virginia was actually named Vagina, we laughed.
We figured why not keep the laughs coming and found some more Starbucks name fails. We also included what the original name is supposed to be, since it's not always entirely clear. You're welcome.
CalArts student Madeline Sharafian made this to show how meaningful it is to cook for somebody you love. In this case it at least means nobody chops off their fingers because their exhausted.
What's the best part of the Kentucky Derby? The hats? The horse racing? The glasses filled with cold, cold whiskey? We couldn't decide, so we put some hats on some horses to help us figure it out. It didn't help. We'll make up our mind tomorrow when the race is over.
We saw this amazing resignation cake and got inspired. Not to quit our jobs, but to admire the ways others have in the past. Our most "creative" quit was telling the owner of a Chinese buffet over the phone that they couldn't yell at us anymore, because we quit so there. Compared to these, that just isn't that impressive.
It turns out when you swap the faces of Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift, you wind up with a pretty cute lesbian couple. Thanks for the heads up, Reddit.
Cookie Monster got arrested yesterday for shoving a toddler. Obviously it was a man dressed up as Cookie Monster, and it happened in Times Square, where basically nothing good will ever happen, but still, come on Cookie Monster!