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Stadium to Install Slides to Get Fans From Parking Lot to Gate

Between the excessive parking fees, relentless street vendors and long ticket lines (unless you’re a Mets fan), getting from the lot to the stadium gate on game day sucks. Officials of a soccer stadium in England may improve that experience by installing slides — just like at the playground — except, these slides are for adults (some of whom happen to be drunken soccer fans — what could go wrong?).

A local business improvement district company proposed the slides as an alternative way into St James’ Park in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. When teams have a soccer match at the stadium, more than 53,000 fans crowd down steps into the facility. The slides, which would be the first of their kind in the UK, could ease the crunch.

If approved, the slides at St. James wouldn’t be in place until late 2013. Similar slides are already in use in Holland. They call them ‘travel accelerators.’ (Why do we think the UK version will be known as ‘thug tunnels’ – ‘thunnels’ if you will?)

“Being playful and doing something a little unusual aims to encourage people to spend more time here enjoying the city,” Tom Robinson from Robinson Landscape Design, one of the companies which designed the slide, said. “We want people to ride the slide, then go up the stairs and do it again.”

Aside from the obvious injuries bound to occur when adults are encouraged to hurtle themselves down a steep, rigid gutter, the organizers overestimate fans’ willingness to ‘play’ on their way into the organized riot that they call a ‘football match.’ On the bright side, modern technology will probably provide us with cellphone video of hundreds of Brits eating it every season. Cheers!

Next: A's Player Homers With Donut On Bat

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