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12 Things We Wished Happened on the ‘Desperate Housewives’ Finale

Desperate Housewives
ABC

All TV shows must come to an end and even though the world is anxiously awaiting the day when ‘Two-and-a-Half Men’ joins the ranks of polio and disco music, audiences recently had to say goodbye to another long-running resident of TV Land.

The final ‘Desperate Housewives’ episode aired Sunday with a shocking two-hour finale that tied up the lives of characters beloved by die-hard audiences of women and men who tell their co-workers that they only watch Spike and mixed martial arts. Here are some surprises that even threw fans for a loop.

1. The CDC quarantines Wisteria Lane under a giant plastic bubble to contain the rampant spread of airborne STDs that the residents created.

2. The wardrobe and makeup departments thank the creators of “duct tape” for their years of “uplifting” service on the show.

3. The girls enjoy a wistful retrospective of their favorite memories by screening a slideshow on Marcia Cross’ forehead.

4. The final shot of Susan (Teri Hatcher) driving past the ghosts of characters who had passed away also includes Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda.

5. After Scott Bakula’s lawyer character helps get Bree (Cross) off of her murder conviction, he “Quantum Leaps” into the body of the Lindbergh baby.

6. Nicollette Sheridan’s cameo appearance is replaced by a giant black box that reads, “Legally not allowed to show.”

7. ABC executives walk into the final scene desperately pleading the cast to stay because they don’t want to imagine a world where ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ is the most watched show on Sundays.

8. Teri Hatcher receives a surprise visit from the Secret Service to “investigate” claims of easy women in the area.

9. Zombies interrupt Renee’s (Vanessa Williams) wedding setting up the inevitable spinoff, ‘The Desperate Walking Dead.’

10. Eight years of wanton sexual innuendo and sexually expressive women causes Rick Santorum’s head to spontaneously explode.

11. Elderly Mrs. McCluskey (Kathryn Joosten) follows Nicolette Sheridan’s lead and washes her car in short shorts and a wet T-shirt.

12. The ending reveals the entire series was just the fever dream of an NBC executive trying to brainstorm an idea for a winning series, only to toss it in the rubbish bin and instead give the green-light to ‘Whitney.’

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