6 Ways to Tell if You’re a Washington Redneck:
Do you remember way back when stand-up comedian Jeff Foxworthy was the talk of the town because he sprang onto the scene telling everybody that they were a "redneck", even if they didn’t realize it? Well, the other day, I looked around my patio and realized I had turned into a Washington redneck!
Well, I'll be!
I scratched my head at how this happened to me without my awareness. I guess that's what happens when a city girl moves to Tiny Town, Washington!
See how many ways you fit into this mold. You might even score some Washington Redneck bonus points.
6 Ways to Tell if You're a Washington Redneck:
1. Old empty cans of beer (or cans of wine) hidden somewhere on your patio.
In my defense, the empty cans blew onto my patio during a windstorm!
2. Ashtray full of cigarette butts by a patio chair.
In my defense, I've been trying to quit.
3. Pile of storage items that actually belong in the house somewhere; bonus points if one of the items is a piece of clothing.
In my defense, I still don't know how one of my caftans ended up outside. I just look at it and shake my head everytime I pass it on my patio bench. It's been out there so long, it's now a part of my patio "ambiance."
4. Gun Memorabilia scattered along your walls or hiding in your garage.
Does not apply to me! (Maybe someday.)
5. Yellow "Don't Tread on Me!" hissing snake flags and/or Rebel flags; bonus points if they are on the same flag.
Does not apply to me!
6. SEVERAL taxidermied heads of wild game displayed inside or outside your house; bonus points if you're the one who shot 'em!
Does not apply to me.
Looks like I'm only HALF redneck! How did you score?
*storms off set, hums the song, "I'm a Redneck Woman" by Gretchen Wilson*