We received the following email the other day:

Hi guys,

I have a problem and wanted to get a neutral opinion.

Several years ago I dated this guy. We were together for about 2 years. I was madly in love with him. He was this gorgeous guy. Very funny. Strong. All those things you want in a man. During the time when we dated I changed jobs, and put on a lot of weight. Like 60 pounds. He was always more than happy to point out ways I could lose weight; hit the gym, eat less, go for a run, stop eating so much. He was also very happy to point out good-looking—and thinner—women to me. Eventually, he cheated on me with some skinny chick and that was it.

Well, here we are 6 years later. I finally took his advice. I started going to the gym 3 years ago. I completely changed what I eat. I changed my career, too. In fact, I work as a trainer now. I have a lot less stress in my life and I’m 70 pounds lighter than I was when I dated him. In a way, I have him to thank for the huge changes in my life.

I ran into him the other day at the grocery store of all places. He said I looked fabulous. He said he barely recognized me. We talked for 5 minutes. He was extremely complimentary and very “touchy” with me, touching my arm and things like that. He emailed me later and wanted to know if we could go out. My gut reaction was “no way”, but part of me wants to see what it would be like. Men are always coming on to me, and although it’s flattering, it’s not really my motivation. He was my motivation. I wanted to prove that I could change, and I did.

But do I give him the satisfaction of dating me again, even if it’s just one date? What should I do?


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