JimShow – Questions You Don’t Ask Californians
Being from California comes with its stereotypes. Here are the most asked questions I get as a former Californian.
You must go to the beach all the time!
Nope. Lived about 15 minutes away and went twice in the past three years. I took it for granted. What stopped me? Time. In fact I spent more time in San Jose and San Francisco city areas than the beach down the road.
Here’s what you don’t know about California beaches. The only beaches that are warm are in Southern California, which is 300 miles away. The rest of the beaches are cold, windy, overcast and smelly. Not the best beach experience. So no, I didn’t go the beach all the time. Plus, I hate large bodies of water.
Can you Surf?
No. And I still hate large bodies of water. That has not changed since you read the previous question.
How many movie stars have you seen?
I lived in the Monterey area which was a hidden haven for movie stars. It’s also over 300 miles from LA. Many stars live in Carmel or Pebble Beach. Residents include Betty White, Pres. Trump, numerous artists and song writers including Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers lives in Big Sur and most of the Doobie Brother live nearby.
Many famous movie composers including Alan Silvestri call Monterey home. Brad and Jenn had a house in Pebble for a while. Stars come to hide in plain sight in Monterey because they are left alone.
You must go to Disneyland All The time!
Chances are, you have been there more than I have. Not a big fan of Disney parks. Disneyland is a wallet suck. We had breakfast at Disneyland once. Simple eggs, bacon and drinks all cost over $100 for a family of four. A Churro costs $5. Plus they make you feel less than if you don’t sign up your daughter for The Bippity Boppity Boo Salon for a $300 princess make over that lasts a whole 15 minutes. It’s a “Forgive me honey, we can’t go to the salon because daddy forgot to take out a second mortgage on the house”, type thing.
What’s it like to be in an earthquake?
Drink 8 beers. Stand up. Now walk. Now you know what it’s like to experience an earthquake.
Hang Ten Dude and Dudettes,